but the lizard people decide everything anyway
I'm like connect-the-dots of drunk. Whiskey, bourbon, vodka, rum, gin. The hidden picture is me faceplanting.
Do fat girls normaly have fat that look like a penis by their pussy?
What the hell did you do last night?!
He just keeps repeating "this isn't my bagel".. i'm worried for his safety
Which genius got me a voicemail of myself puking?
Did you sleep with Connor? And who undressed me? There's a picture of two guys peeing out my bedroom window. What happened?
after I lost so many games of beer pong they made me be a troll, I sat under the table and told riddles while retrieving balls.
YOU'RE HIGH AND AT THE GYM OF COURSE YOU FEEL WEIRD
My thighs feel like glass
My main goal for tomorrow night is to make it back into my own bed
i just stole a 8 pack of olde english 40s and 2 roles of duct tape. we are going to make edward proud tonight.
You screamed at oncoming traffic , "five dollars to punch this guy in taint!".
I know but we're going to blackout city so it'll probably be warm there
Definitely ended up doing Coke with Chewbacca in the porta potty behind the haunted house.
At 10 PM you were shit faced in the kitchen makin nachos... Naked. I wasn't sure what to do besides walk away...
This whole brainwashing thing is easy!
Randomize
