At a sweet 16. cant remember what shirt im wearing byt dnt worry im not sleeping w/ the guy who serves the chicken nuggets again
when i got home i made myself toast with butter & put pasta on it. I know this cause it's all over my bed.
Found a pint glass in my snow pants.
Just put the gallon of milk in the microwave. Dad might know im high.
explaining to a nurse how i all most cut my finger off playing beer pong, she def just hand me a AA booklet.
ugh he was not leaving in the morning so i tried to scare him by crying and saying i wasnt ready to lose my virginity.
You were visibly distraught that my boyfriend and I didn't have sex in your bed. You forced us to take your condoms.
Impressive. I've never gotten straight denied and then chased the guy naked out of my own apt. I'll remember that next time.
Ever walked into a basement full of 10 guys jerking it to a live stripper? Cause I have. Always confirm the address of a house party. Always.
I just want nice things and good sex
apparently they stopped looking at spit swabs under the microscope in bio ever since they found a sperm cell in one students sample
We were taking body shots by lunch. I love college.
I mean like, I missed 30 minutes of star wars to fuck you on Christmas so you must be worth something
Want to have dinner and we can talk about how my vagina can make you feel better?
I'd like to know who hasn't seen my tits tonight.
Randomize
