Oh and I watched laurens last episode on the hills. its been an emotional day
do you want me to make hamburgers?
i'm vegan
i'll put lettuce on them
you were so drunk you slurred your pauses
whats wrong with me. i have a coffee mug of wine in the library and i'm doing homework
that would be two times in a week with two different guys.
they have the same name so it only counts as one guy right?
I'm 99% sure I high fived a girl over mashed potatoes last night
I somehow ended up with a bottle of red wine in one hand and white in the other and would drink them at the same time. Ruined
He blended the pizza with water and drank the whole thing. He is my hangover hero
If there was a tv show called "True Life: My 58 Year Old Dad Rolls Better J's Than Me" I'd be on it.
is it weird to think that girls born in '96 are now legal?
Apparently I blamed my BAC on the Saint Louis Cardinals...how is that not a valid excuse?!
I don't know where I keep finding these guys, but mi power bottoms es su power bottoms.
I am high playing guitar hero naked. Please don't let me die this way
I really need to curb my attractions to blondes with tattoo sleeves, firearms and alcoholism
I'm currently in a U-Haul truck right now. Going to a party. I hate myself.
just to let you know, that was probably the funniest text i've ever received.
I suppose that kind of helps fill the void where my self respect used to be.
Randomize
