Rosebud was a fucking sled. Gay.
sooo i think when i get back from rothbury i should probably take a pregnancy test
but you would be showing by now. i'd just save the money and wait for a large crap in 6 months that starts crying. then you'll know.
Nick had a break down & said to me "Everybody's mad at me, I'm the douchebag, Im the fucking douchebag that everyone hates, Do you wanna come home with this douchebag?!"
You're going home with him aren't you?
I'll see ya in the morning when I leave his house
The night took a downhill turn when he started using a butter knife as a spoon to drink his cosmo
I just did the math. 30.36% of girls I've slept with have cheated on a significant other while doing it.
you can hold your grudge or you can accept the alcoholic treats as a peace offering. your choice
peace be with you.
Throwing up so forcefully that toilet water hits you in the face is not what the Pilgrims and Indians had in mind for this holiday
Was just walking through the park by the river. Saw some random in a tree, we climbed up, blazed with him and bought a bag. In the tree. Real shit.
Went to 7-11 to buy condoms with the $20 I found on the ground outside Rite Aid. A good day for drug stores
I gave his daughter swim lessons and in exchange he sold me an ounce. I feel so accomplished.
So my balls are accidently making an appearance on snapchat
For some reason drunk me always leaves sober me a banana in the morning.
Well I only snuggle him I don't hump him. That's rude.
Your amazing boobs made me fall in love with boobs. I never cared about boobs you should be proud
Remember how slutty I thought she was when we were freshmen?
Yeah! But that was a long time ago. Plus, you use your sluttiness for good!
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