i watch way too much csi for them to even pretend to be my friend.
I think the boy in my gender studies class cried when 90% of the girls said they had faked an orgasm
Correct me if I'm wrong, but I did not stop moving last night. If tequila gives me that extra push to have an active lifestyle, so be it.
i just remember pinky promising you guys to take care of him.
Make sure you have everything youll need until sunday. aka a green shirt and condoms.
Boys should be on-demand - like, once you select one, he's yours for the next 24-hours
just found out that she named her cat after me.
Don't be embarrassed its me, I've licked your taint.
Immediately after I scarfed down an Applebee's appetizer trio for lunch, my boss sent me on an hour long road trip to pick up some parts. Great. I can't wait to shit my pants on US-31 South.
Lets just say...I plan on being a bigger shitshow than Miley Cyrus at the VMA'S
I'm sorry I told you to go fuck yourself after you said good morning to me when I was hungover.
And then you poured the rest of the vodka into salsa and added the alcohol soaked pineapples and grapes and said "don't touch my salsa breakfast".
I told him I wanted to get on him and ride him to Montana. It didnt end like i thought it would.
Hey sorry if you felt me holding your hand in the middle of the night I was actually just checking you had a pulse
I woke up with my converse still on and a plate of pasta next to my face, if that gives you any indication of how my night went
Randomize
