can "i'm close!" be our safe word(s)?
oh geez, wrong person.
i feel like i'm waiting in line to date brett michaels
hahahahahahhahahahaha. 26, Dominican, has a funny accent, thinks I'm hot. Tots boning.
i had a dream that your penis turned into a long neck dinosaur
did it start talking like on Land before time?
Why the fuck was there a shirtless Mexican in my apartment this morning?
its like my vagina has this homing beacon out to all the guys saying "come find me, i havent been shaved in weeks"
Being a responsible DD does not include attempting to coordinate a 4 taxi caravan to bar #3
Admitting I go to nursing school is my subtle way of saying, yes, I know every muscle in your penis and how to effectively use them.
So I feel bad, Ross is asking questions, I think they need to know it's a Spanish lesbian bar
I really like her...she always overpays me for xanax and still feels the need to fuck me to make up for it....
yyyea i think im gonna go get a bowl and play skyrim. And by bowl i mean something i can throw up in, not weed
Im including "no monologues past 1am" in the list of apartment rules. Theatre majors dude.
i sent him a nude and he responded 6 hours later
what did he say?
"oh m god,,, whow '!!!!nm"
Came out of blackout state to the curtains torn down & the headboard laid on top of him. & yes he was still breathing
Became friends with a girl at work today until I realized we have the same taste in men. And I thought only I liked red-bearded fat men
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