oh good, I think they're gone
the painters?
my herpes
Actually, all he talks about is how great the sex is with her and how crappy you were at it. Stop being a bitch and gossiping masking it as self-righteousness.
He said we were driving the golf cart through the woods screaming 'iceroad truckers' for four hours in the dark
Hey guys, just to let you know, I have a boyfriend...so that hookup was kind of a one time thing.
was that a mass text??
She threw up a whole curly fry. A. WHOLE. CURLY. FRY.
Hey I have to teach you how to run in heels before vegas
I've gotten 23 condolence texts about Germany's defeat. I got 3 for our break-up. That's how much my friends don't like you.
our conversations pretty much only consist of the phrase 'fuck you'. and the sex is fantastic. we've got a great thing going here.
I'm pretty sure the guy she brought home is a polish porn star..
Doap. Just bring some lube and a slingshot. Not sure y we need the slingshot.
i gave up on the vacation being fun the night i ate all the marshamallows out of the lucky charms while everyone else was having sex in the condo
But in fairness, I would totally have a robo-penis as long as it had full sensation.
Hey sorry if you felt me holding your hand in the middle of the night I was actually just checking you had a pulse
might I remind you I fucked a 21 year old and almost did coke with strangers? you definitely came out on top
Omg I just smoked and it was the end so I basically got resin and death, my throat feels like the twilight vampire description of their thirst for blood
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