Apparently throwing up on his dick didnt convince him to stay away . . . whats the most indirect way of saying "im just going to continue avoiding you"?
six shots in, he is hammered and doing stretches before each shot
Just did shots with my boss to warm up for our sales call to Childrens Hospital. I love startups.
I lost control in the snow and hit a parked car. I went into our building to get a pen and paper to leave a note and when I came back the car was gone and there was a hot girl there. I used the pen and paper to get her number.
Fell into a man hole last night. I've been bleeding since 11pm. Got kicked out of the bar for being bloody.
I would describe it as pure and unadulterated shock, mixed with horror and a touch of nausea.
he's got a countert top full of yard sale blenders so id say maragita wednesdays is a go.
then he tried to convert me to islam
How can someone be so bad at fingering? It's such a simple concept
I'm a sociology major remember
Well that and comm
Basically you majored in how to get laid
When you and Blake get an apartment I want you to buy this Costco couch I'm currently passing out on.
If I got to choose how I die, it would be in an Olympic sized pool of gin and tonic.
Also there's so much vodka on my breath that if I blew on my fingers my nail polish would fall right off
I found you laying in a field of grass near the trail I jog on in the morning like a drunken Bambi.
I wouldn't hesitate to give up my job to have regular bowel movements again
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