I fuked that chick last night and she kept saying, "oh...oh....oh", like Bill Lumberg
so what did you do?
I did the mash I did the monster mash It was a graveyard smash!
I think that i just found proof that harry and ginny had sex
I don't think its a good idea if I moon a whole bar again
I just saw a guy getting escorted with handcuffs on, I'm too drunk to be at the airport right now.
it was one of those movies netflix should have sent weed with
It was like she tried to cover up all the weight she gained with a fake tan...
At least I can pee in a cup like a champ at this point
The word cocktail makes me want to rip my liver out and nail it to a cross.
I found my hair extensions. They were in my hamper.
Should I get the rainbow boxer breifs???
As your boyfriend, this is a level of gay that even I can't handle.
She actually purred while I was balls deep in her! I have never been so proud to buy plan b at 6:30 in the morning.
Costco cheesecake and whisky. A night made in heaven
He came and farted at the same time. My life is over.
I just had drunken sex with an eagle scout behind the boy scouts of america building. what has my life come to?!
She shit herself again. We're calling her the "Queen of Sharts".
Randomize
