Well the candle wax mightve been sexy if he didn't drop the candle and light half my bed on fire
bought some hannah montana deodorant. hope it doesnt make me smell untalented
I just walked in on my roommate beating off with no pants on, an unbuttoned hawaiian shirt and a cowboy hat, and he weights 300 pounds
Please come to History lecture. The kid two seats over is belligerently drunk.
She's like a pop up book from hell.
had a guy just try to take his underwear off in the middle of the bar w o taking his pants off. That kind of Sunday afternoon
I'm sober enough to realize she looks like a man, but drunk enough to do it anyways
I don't like getting sloppy drunk but I don't like getting just half drunk either, I'm way too responsible if my blood alcohol level is below 0.2
i ordered 6 shots "to go" what did you think was going to happen!
I got kicked out of the bar for suggesting that the bartender drop her tits into my Redbull instead of the usual liquor
Also, in the middle of me riding him, he said "I want you to dance on my dick" like I was supposed to know what that means
I just got a lap dance from a kid in the coconut bra... So not drunk enough for this.
I mean, she's batshit insane and once choked a guy with one hand but she's still MILF material in my book.
not that im pissed, but why are there two naked chicks in my bed?
It shouldn't be this hard to find someone who you haven't blown.
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