Why do bread and butter chips remind me of eating out your mom?
just as he was about to cum he started shouting "I THINK I CAN! I THINK I CAN!" over and over again.
we've been dating more than a month and i just realized there's no hair on his chest..
you've had sex with him. you must've seen him naked.
nah, i feel like naked sex would be getting too serious for us..
This is so pathetic it makes me miss snorting lines alone in my room listening to 'one more drink'.
drunk enough to drink jager bombs out of a bowl on the kitchen floor.
We had car sex in the parking lot of the dispensery while he blasted Tony Bennett. It was so fucking romantic.
Another reason why I like dubstep now, it makes me feel even higher than I already am.
I took "we live within stumbling distance of the bar" as an invitation and challenge
Just drove by where I lost my sausage gravy virginity
I made him dress me after we fucked. He put me in TMNT pants and then told me I looked hot.
We just saw two bitche in pink capris jazzercising down the road. On Thanksgiving.
Remember when I convinced you to watch me eat my sandwich just so you could reuse my plate and save us money on our water bill? I'm so ecofriendly when I'm high
I really hope this is just a phase, because I am not capable of carrying both of our drunken whore asses through life. Too much dead weight....
It's a charity event and she's wearing a cocktail dress drinking a 40... I found my future wife
Our livers get a hall pass for 2020, right?
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