my lips still taste like vagina
so you liked breakfast?
ehh, still wish we woulda went to IHOP instead
nobody understood you. You kept speaking french and hiding shit in your boobs
Well unless he sent his sperm via fedex, this baby isnt his
I would like to add..this is the first november for two years that i haven't cheated on a bf...thank you..thank you
i miss our vodka / percocet laundry days.
Just saying goodbye until I figure this whole "warrant out for my arrest" thing
I wish you'd make everyone's lives easier and do him already. Then we can get rid of him.
I feel like after that many guys, all of the water in your body is just replaced with pure jizz, honestly.
the girl peeing in the stall next to mine has really cute shoes. on a scale of 1 to restraining order, how weird would it be to compliment them from in here?
I think we should go through the tsa checkpoint with raging hardons when we go through LAX. I think we should pass out some viagra to everyone
First poop in my apartment for the summer, officially settled in. :)
Did I turn a man straight...??
Yes!
So this morning everyone commended me for puking over the porch. No one else made it that far...
I'm either hallucinating or there is a dying cat outside my apartment....
Sextember may be over, but Cocktober is just beginning!!!
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