I really think my ability to vom without making noise mmight be my most useful talent
you proceeded to suck on ur pinkie saying it reminded you of chris and you wanted him badly
Her vagina is like Vegas. high traffic and full of glitter.
I woke up because I was nodding to the dream question of "would you like a sombrero?"
we are playing family charades. my sister pointed at me. everyone guessed alcoholic.
there has got to be a maximum amount of semen a person can take in before they get some kind of poisoning.
His dad asked what he was doing so he texted his FATHER a picture of me wearing his shirt in his bed.
Someone was asleep on the couch next to us and woke up. We paused and he yelled "gentlemen, behold! Sex!"
i ran into my coworkers when i was walking home last night. i was shirtless. i think i gave my shirt to Walter. he's a cat.
im still drunk. birthday week begins.
He's basically wearing those Nike boner sweatpants. It's hard not to jump him. How has your day been?
That's why you bone lesbian cage fighters and 45 year olds. To make life less boring.
Who's the naked guy asleep in your car?
Having sex with my girlfriend wearing my old Tom Brady jersey on the day he's freed is the closest I'll come to a 3way with Tom
Like, I don't need to know your life dude. I just need you to suck my tits.
We're so high we're eating flavored lube.
Randomize
