Id pretty much put it in anything at this point. Jello. Dogs. 12 year old boys
Haha so you are never gonna want to meet my mom now...she just found your thong in her front seat
Countdown til Saturday. I'd assume we're somewhere around 10,000 bottles of beer on the wall.
My booty call got married. Come over before I start tagging all the places my dick has been in her wedding photos.
They're here. One showed up as a slutty Crayola, and I think the other came as The Fat Friend.
I wonder if i could put a dildo on my bike seat to encourage me to exercise.
How would u feel about transportimg a penis shaped ice luge to nashville?
The dingo escaped by eating a hole through my screen door. It's loose in the city somewhere.
The assistant vp has a bottle of wine on his desk & I have a feeling my boobs will be making an appearance today.
She made me be the little spoon then she pretended to be a jet pack for an hour straight
I wanted him to come me this time. So I told him last time I was in the city I hit a lady on the head with an inflatable Santa Claus and just found out that the restraining order she requested against me was granted. We never hung out.
oh and apparently my boobs are named "have no fear" and "plenty o'beer"
That's the 3rd guy I've made pass out from a bj. I may have super powers.
It's 2016 and I'm somehow banging the milkman.
It's a Saturday night and I am in bed with two cats, a bottle of Riesling, and I'm masturbating to Iron Man. I'm great at being 21.
Randomize
