Reasons why i shouldn't be drunk and upset: i'm going to a boy's
Just kissed her with a dip in my mouth... She was either too drunk to notice or too cool to care
afterwards we were spooning and he said he wished he was a kangaroo so he cold put me in his pouch and keep me forever. I left as soon as he was asleep.
YouTube is recomending me a video on how to make a home made meth bong, what has my life come to?
We're doing a case race on Saturday.
I'm in. I'm currently drinking a beer in the bathtub so I guess I can consider this "practice" and not just "alcoholism"
Just found the cutest bag of coke under my bed. I'm going to get fucked up and bleach the cat vomit out of my sheets.
STOP TELLING PEOPLE I PEED ON YOU
All of the texts in my phone just say "BEER". I woke up with glowsticks on my arm. What happened last night?
Sorry I couldn't reference you in my facebook quote. I will redirect any likes and comments straight to my blowjob efforts this week.
Did he think I was flirting with him when I ordered a hot dog bc no
Seeking encouragement from my tinder matches to ace this test. I've sunk to a newest low.
Fell off the toilet trying to reach to put my tampon in the garbage. Pride hurts real bad.
P.s. There are few things I love more than brand new mascara and you are one of them.
Guys I ate pizza off the fucking ground of the cab. I am the worst type of person
It's been THREE DAYS. Why do I still have the munchies?!
Randomize
