So you refered to him as "monster dick"...not so much
just did the walk of shame by his grandma. what the fuck is an old lady doing up at six am?
she met some random, took his vcard, peed in his bed, left, and then requested him as her boyfriend on facebook
I mean, I'd wanted to go skinny dipping, hook up with him and have sex on a beach, so last night I basically killed 3 birds with one super slutty stone.
I wouldn't take my shot so you poured it on my face. Twice.
He asked if I wanted a dutch rudder. 1.) Who says that? 2.) How exactly does one do that with a girl?
Also I think my taxi driver may have just died and we just happen to be on a 35 mph cruise control on 395...
I'm okay. We got a prayer rug sent to us with the face of jesus on it. From Tulsa Oklahoma. Kinda weird.
We passed my parents while I was giving him road head...that awkward
I don't deserve a penis
I'M NOT READY TO BE AB ADULT YET!!!
Alls I wanted was a fun New Years but I end up fingering a geico sales representative on a futon and giving her a ride to work the next morning
Well I want to be mistreated and called a slut and finger banged
But I guess hugs would be nice
FYI, his "son" is a Chihuahua.
Went to waffle house after dropping my sister off at school and got into a heated argument with a drunk/hungover philosophy professor I will not name. I won the argument.
Randomize
