A girl just told me I should smile because I was surrounded by hot girls. I told her that clearly beauty was in the eye of the beholder. And she slapped me!
Her body is shaped like a coke bottle...a two liter coke bottle
We each get one free throw up cleaning, no questions asked.
See it, we're so close, i smell your vagisil
ok, she started talking about how she swears her step dad killed her mom. starting to back out of this one
Have invented new cocktail. Any flavor of crystal light and vodka. I call it "I am going to die alone"
Didn't I tell you I have developed a shameless theory about farting anywhere and everywhere? I'm too pretty so no one suspects me.
He texted back and said he would hook up if he didn't have a test at 8am. It's really hard to be annoyed by how good of a student he is.
Yeah that sucks. That's why I stick to deadbeat sports management majors.
ERIN AND I ARE GETTING MATCHING VIBRATORS. I'M PEER PRESSURING YOU INTO JOINING THE CLUB. Besides we're the three best friends that anyone could have, you better not ruin that by being a pussy and not treating your pussy to awesomeness. That is all.
All I want is to get as high as I did that time I started hallucinating that my brother was becoming a monkey and I saw my mum on every surface of your room.
come over. We can flirt with the criteria for substance abuse and talk about our daddy issues
Dick. I'll go round and break his windows. I've been watching Sons of Anarchy on Netflix.
HE LITERALLY JUST PEED IN MY ROOM IDK WHAT TO DO HELP
Did we do drunk science last night? There's tequila in the test tubes...
Its guy fieris flavor town of suffering™
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