pretty sure mid blowjob I told him I needed to call you and ask you if this was whore-ish. He hid my phone from me.
sometimes i think life is slapping me across the face and laughing, saying "ha ha! you're an adult!"
We need somewhere to take these girls. Otherwise it's a orgy in the Mazda.
Im going to need an iv of taco bell after this.
I am way too high for this. Some guy just keeps talking about music and life goals and he apparently has lived in every city we mention we are going
Important info for allergy season. An orgasm will unblock stuffy sinuses.
Lots of alcohol. 3rd graders fuck me now.
Auto correct or actual 3rd graders?
just letting you know, you took a hit of the blunt while sleeping. happy birthday
I feel like my uterus is decaying in my body
you had me at cake vodka
He said I was the "egg mcmuffin" of blowjobs. I'm flattered.
Honestly I was sitting in managerial accounting thinking "I really need to get my shit together and stop drinking so much wine." But when you asked I realized... it's wine. It's always a yes.
i dont know the whole gay terminator look is really hot on him
Sorry for peeing on you and your bed last night.
Umm... When he walked in I shot him with my confetti gun... It's a wonder my booty calls even show up.
Randomize
