Well you will be happy to know that aaron carter hit on me
I'm surprised I didn't puke tonight
i got last night's adventure to take the garbage out when he was leaving. my vagina is THAT good.
I'm gonna have bed sores at the end of this hangover.
I am the poster child for what not to do during sex. Soon they will be calling an undesired position after me
I woke up this morning with my hair wrecked, a split lip, and an "H" on my right knee and a "I!" on my other knee.
All his texts have the signature of a date with a smile. I asked him what it means. IT'S THE DAY HE QUIT DOING DRUGS
Precisely. She's an awesome drinking companion; yet, not so awesome mother-in-law material.
Want to go home, so casually slip my underwear in his pocket. Never seen him grin so big and say goodbye to his friends.
Terrible hangover + phoenix airport + pizza hut....I think I might have entered one of the levels of hell.
My purpose is to unleash drunk self on strangers, i believe as some terrifying icebreaker, otherwise i too would offer my driving services.
So is the trick to long distance communication to be drunk during phone conversations?
You informed me your place was now a nudist colony and unless I was there to drink schnapps with the cat I had to strip.
no dude he sent me cemetery flowers, i know it. they are half dried out roses in the shape of a cross, seriously. and he is not religious. so he robbed a freaking grave site for me. am i like an accessory to grave robbing now??
damnit this is what you get for dating guys with neck tattoos
For the love of all that is holy just take the tranquilizers Erica
Randomize
