Dude ! Why is there vomit with whole pieces of sushi in the shower when the toilet is not more than 2 feet away ? btw you need to chew your food better,
Sex on a trampoline was so worth getting a mosquito bite on my penis
so he came on my face and then proceeded to say "that was just how i imagined it would happen"
where do you find these guys?
We were doing it doggy style, and I puked on the floor and started crying, he told me it was okay his cat would eat it... and if it would make me feel better we could do anal...
And they lived happily ever after....
you called to congratulate me on being the reason you lost never have i ever
He said his penis was a 1 woman penis with a conscience an I was that woman...technically a declaration of commitment rite?
The main two things I remember from last night is you "spanking Katey into reality" and watching her barf in terror.
Happiness for him is a different happiness than you can supply cuz you have life standards, morals and goals that dont include the bar or beer everynight.
BRILLIANT IDEA: In honor of summer olympics we need to start a synchronized drinking team.
...and if you can get the necessary ingredients to make the Buffalo Chicken Melt, I will latch forever at your Teat of Justice.
i solemnly vow to never stick my penis into crazy again
I give it a week.
I think I'm taking after my dog, I just want to hump everything
First walk of shame in 18 years. Divorce is going well.
breakfast this morning: omelette, Valium and baileys hot chocolate
Now that sounds like the breakfast of champions
Do u believe in the possibility of big foot?
You high??
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