I plan on using my big titties for evil tonight.
Guess who's still drunk but on time to court to represent a DUI?
You are my hero
As long as you're not dating white guys again.
He said he had bite marks on his back... Turns out he had to throw me over his shoulder, and I was really reluctant.
He kept coming back from the bar with hotter girls and just left with two...I feel like I just witnessed something amaZing. Like meeting Jesus and finding out he has no morals either
you kept introducing yourself to guys as "never going to happen"
I got stoned in my snow covered car and pretended I was burried alive
I love her to death but its like you have to do 5 lines of coke to be on her level.
we've had our differences but let's set them aside, go home and fuck
I mean he did ask and he said it's cold out but i didn't realize we were that comfortable hahaha sex is one thing but borrowing a sweatshirt?
Locking that text forever.
I saw a groundgog last night outside my back door. I now have a new wedding gift idea.
It is clearly not my fault that you decided studying was more important than trying to bang our hot teacher for an A, so I seized the opportunity.
He said he's in to distance fucking. I thought he just mean long durations. We fucked on a towel all the way down his tile hallway accross his kitchen and into the living room
I don't know, we got really drunk and I slapped her with an ear of corn.
First non virgin Sunday. Bursts into flames.
Randomize
