So I think we're almost at the age where we should start calling boys men. Now what age do they start living up to the new title?
Most never. Some around 65.
Woke up to a denim duvet cover this morning... why r guys so tacky?
We lost the cork forthe wine, so we used a tampon as a replacement. I never loves tampons so much
I may be the first guy in history to get dome while watching An Extremely Goofy Movie.
He just did a 33 second keg stand with a fractured leg, busted chin and chipped teeth from running into a parked car after winning a race.
i came on her dog
He left his shoes, boxers and socks at my house & managed to walk home to his dorm without realizing anything was missing until 3 days after. That's the last time i'll ever hook up with a freshman.
What can I say? I like my food like I like my women, not entirely fucked by our contemporary world.
I feel like I have two modes: Super fuckin high, or super giddy from caffeine. I have learned to accept this.
Dude. When are you coming home? I'm laying in bed watching the Grinch and trying to pet a cat that I'm not even sure exists.
Welp, I can cross "making out with a guy in a dress" off my bucket list...
Here's what I don't understand. How does anyone watch you eat mayo for 12 minutes and then ever fuck you again??
THE EAGLE HAS MY PANTIES. I REPEAT. THE FUCKING MASCOT HAS MY PANTIES.
HOLY SHIT. You're my hero.
His parents came home, and now I'm hiding in a closet; awaiting death at dawn.
You are always hiding in a closet though??
he'll eat me out, but god forbid we double dip when sharing salsa
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