dude we were spooning naked in bed with her ass in my crotch. she sharted in her sleep all over my dick.
True Life: I puke at bars and try to catch it in my hand...then walk away like it didn't happen
They threw me out of the bar because I was arguing business ethics with the owner of th bar
What the fuck. The girl next to me just looked at her phone, put her stuff away, and popped a birth control and ran out of class. Lucky fucking guy.
Drunk sex destroyed my coffee table... ikea this weekend?
just watched my roommates get stoned and jury rig a pulley system to pass the bowl back and forth across the room.
Front seat of an Escalade in a limo-service parking lot. That is all.
We told you to go get more fire wood and you came running back with a log that was on fire, not drunk at all.
Dude. The only thing that I use less than my dick is my tennis racket. We need to play.
Decided in my tanked state last night purchase 2 weeks worth of xanax, so I can guess my way thru this week and finals. Soberly, I decided it would be a great way to test my knowledge of finance.
he puked all over my guest bed and the said he felt good enough to clean it up. he poured bleach all over the bed and passed out in it. he had the chemiacal burn for a month...
I did it on acid. I can cook bacon on any condition
A prostitute stole us beer at 3 am
I feel like my stoner spirit animal is Janice from the muppets.
We poured all the Fireball on the Slip and Slide and long story short I have two black eyes.
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