i threw up in over 4 different places last night. it was like a world tour
our school mascot just walked into class and threw condoms everywhere. welcome to college
my grandma was just praying before dinner, and before she could finish my gpa lifted his glass and said 'and here's to avatar!'
Ever had blood in your semen? I am guessing that's a problem.
either she was really happy we won flip cup, or she was too drunk to notice her boyfriend behind her.
Also, your vagina needs a time out and let your brain have a chance to make decisions.
I always forget that visiting my hometown is like a who's who of ugly people.
Please say a prayer for the elevator people at work today. My farts are significantly more potent the day after hitting that korean place for lunch...
Was she always missing a tooth or am I just now noticing it?
I can't wait til I'm a real grown up and am no longer expected to take 7 shots of raspberry ruby as a pregame to a night of drinking natty lite
I'm pretty sure your ex of four years just had a baby with some kid and named it after you...
I think snapchat is trying to tell you something. It's saying your boobs were meant to be seen by his family.
even my drug dealer wished me a happy birthday before my mother did.
I tired using vodka to remove my makeup
you walked into the party, and all you had on was your left sock... literally.
Randomize
