sorry i walked in and ruined it, but i had to laugh she looked like a pile of bologna the way you had her pinned up on the wall
friends don't let friends hook up with gingers.
I'd call her a cunt, but she dooesn't seem to have the depth or warmth.
She forgot my birthday again. How do you forget something that came out of your vagina???
Im making gravy in a lace bra and jeans. Just call me the southwern wet dream
As far as drugs go, alcohol has all the elegance and precision of hitting yourself in the head with a hammer.
I swear she's a drunk klepto...by the end of the night she had stolen 3 bowling balls. HOW DO YOU STEAL 3 BOWLING BALLS?
He just said his penis sings like Mariah Carey...Im going with drunken.
I'm gonna play this game called Conquer the Dicks. I think it is self explanatory.
as much as I don't like snorting drugs, I would totally be fine with someone doing a line off my ass. that's just a whole new up
Holy shit, did you actually CHOOSE to get hit by the alcohol truck last night?
I don't know if the fact that I carry lube in my purse means I'm living life right or I'm doing it wrong..
I showed up to a job interview wearing two different shoes. If that's not an omen, I don't know what is.
I didn't want to leave, I wanted to move into his ass
Sorry if that was awkward, i will never call you sober ever again
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