put your party hat on. and by party hat I mean no panties
He tagged himself in all of my pictures so he would get a notification if someone commented on it.
Restraining orders are what college is about.
You taught me that having a dip while u shit is awesome. I appreciate u for that
No, dude. Even Jesus hates Creed.
You NEED to get fingered by a violinist. He used his left hand and make me cum, he's RIGHT handed.
Making a drinking game out of jeopardy does not mean you studied..
When I find myself drinking from a boot I just go with it and refuse to ask why.
Would your heart desire to drink copious amounts of alcohol tonight?
I got kicked out of the men's bathroom at the diner last night because i was straddling the sink attempting to pee with pants on. Beat that.
I saved a note for myself but all it said was "am I a slutty Holden Caulfield?"
Hi, I put a dog in your house, I hope it's yours.
The cat likes watching me spank Michael. I don’t know how to feel about this.
It was like mission impossible.
but with sex.
A piece of your chipped nail polish just fell out of my crotch.
Tell me you're alive little brother. And please tell me you didn't get arrested. You made no fucking sense last night in your random texts and pictures you were sending me.
Randomize
