That's what you get for not wearing a bra and jumping on a trampoline
I've been awake for 20+ hrs. What does that mean? I just realized if BSB were Twilight characters, Brian would be Jake and Howie would be Edward based on the video for "Everybody". That's unsettling.
It's unsettling that you took the time to think about that.
you know it is a bad morning when you forget to brush your teeth and eat old gas x in your car because its minty...
look, i may have sacrified a 20% assignment for a sprite. this is what hangovers do to me.
He kept saying the best defense against a lion is to punch it in the throat.
She woke up with blood running down her face and asked the EMS guy where the keg was
Stop making excuses. You can be here in 5 and cumming in 10
The Fresno prostitute seemed offended all I wanted from her was directions back to the freeway.
I don't care how high you are, you can't finger me while eating potato chips.
You blacked out and walked in on my neighbor breast feeding at 3am yelling "where is my best friend". I think we should go apologize.
I feel like I wont be making enough money to support my frivilous lifestyle of beer and mcdonalds
Someone else needs to become the bad example in our group
But you wear shame so well
We just won 1800 at the casino and are going to the strip club. Who gives a fuck if it's 5pm
Teach me the ways of your demonic sorcery.
Just so we're clear, drunk and naked is not appropriate attire for Thanksgiving. Do it this year and Grandma will ban you for life.
Randomize
