i blacked out hard core.. it was bad peeeed muh bed
Its about time the women of america have a president they can masturbate to again
could you grab mr moo while you're at his apt?
you brought your stuffed animal to a booty call?
just took my ibuprofen with ramen broth, yay college
my bedside table was not meant to hold this many beer bottles.
an off duty cop drove behind me last night to make sure i didnt get a dui. i was blacked out drunk and on a pill of ecstacy. he knew this. i must be really pretty.
Hes pre-made beer lollipops so he "can suck before the sex" QUOTE!
MASS TEXT: Lets start a new tradition. Black Friday log pic contest. I'm waiting.
I have a cracked rib, no way in hell I'm bottoming for him tonight!
When you glanced over and and mouthed "I'll take the fat chick" I knew it was going to be an epic Sunday night.
He made the moves first, we made out...then we folded his laundry.
I'm committing myself to dance. Also, I'm unsure if you said space party sounded lame because dude was old, but I hope you're over it because I love space, and I love David Bowie and I love to dance, and you need to embrace this with me.
There are regrets.. and there are RAGRETS
If you needed to get laid tonight all you had to do was ask
before i went to bed i wrote myself a note that says 'i feel all swirly'
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