btw, your gf is going to want to talk to you today...and consequently you're probably not going to want to talk to me...just a heads up
i love how you can even make your typing come across bitchy
i am fully taking advantage of taking advantage of him
I swear if it wasn't for meeting for drug dealers @ gas stations, i would never remember to get gas.
I guess I just laid down next to him with the entire pot of mac n cheese and started giving him a handie with one hand and eating with the other
Between the dance party in the car and the distraction of the momma bear and two cubs im a cops wet dream roght now when comes to wreckless driving.
Have you ever chugged beers in the hospital parking garage with your mom?
you know what would be perfect? if you flew in on a horse/cat holding taco bell and then you swooped me up and took me to disney world and it was magical
A man just poked my foot with his crutches while I'm shitting. Is that how the disabled gays ask for a glory hole blow jay?
There was a tour on campus today, and there were two girls i went to high school with in the group. They saw me and ran up to me as i was unlocking my door. when i opened it, kate was laying in a pile of glitter and beer cans. We need to reevaluate.
He was my first. He knew. He knew right there I was wrapped around his penis.
If blow jobs were a super power she'd be in the Justice League.
Update: day 5 and Scott has not left the apartment. Still smoking. Pizza roll supply dwindling.
She referred to my balls as rotund and handsome
Yeah everywhere i go i feel like a 3rd or 5th or (2n+1)th wheel. That's right, i'm a mathematically depressed drunk.
Randomize
