haha it's okay then, bc he only killed a canadian, they're not real people
I chugged a bottle of robotussein and i ducking saw a blind lady on a purch sewing a shirt! And a tree portal
Whats contracted in vegas does not stay in vegas....
I just chased the everclear with Listerine...I think I found my new chaser!
Thanks for not cleaning the drain like you were supposed to. I just vomited in the shower and I had to stand in it until I was done conditioning.
Note to self: don't jizz on a surface cleaned with Tilex. It WILL turn purple.
I'm expecting you to come by soon and a magical night of sex and floating on clouds to follow.
WE SHOULD FUCK TWO GUYS THAT LIVE TOGETHER
THAT WOULD BE SO CONVENIENT WE COULD CARPOOL
it's just not right when you're boyfriend has a nicer ass than you do.
I'm not sure... How do you tell someone who was so smashed they couldn't remember shoving their dick into the fireplace that their mother actually witnessed the whole thing?
I don't know if apple cider everclear was such a good idea
...and if you can get the necessary ingredients to make the Buffalo Chicken Melt, I will latch forever at your Teat of Justice.
wait i saw you last night?
we found you ass naked on the couch covered in pillows.
If waffles and beer don't scream "fuck me!" then I don't know what else to do.
I shit myself and fell down the stairs and I’m still finding shit In those pants.
Randomize
