i dont know why he would complain when i touch him there.
Can we hire someone to dj while we have sex?
Sorry for feeding you peanuts last night while you were sleeping, you looked hungry.
FYI I just found your friend. Asleep. In. My. Kayak. In. Pool.
I don't know what kind of soup they made, but it smells like condoms.
I'm going to die alone in my chair and get eaten by my cat. That kind of break up.
WHY AM I THE ONLY ONE CONCERNED ABOUT THE SEAGULL IN THE OVEN
Random Survey Question: If things start getting serious with this cop, do I have to stop doing coke?
You were making out with a freshman and said you wanted to back to his place. Then when you got to the door to leave you said "never mind." He sad it wasn't fair and you got all serious and told him "welcome to the real world kid."
What do you mean you don't want me to steal the manikin do you have any idea how expensive inflatable dolls are I can't get that for your birthday
So if I get kidnapped from my office and go missing for a few days does that count against my vacation days and do I still get paid?
Good, be his mentor. Like a tiny gay Yoda.
My date bailed but I got to take a nap so I'm cool with it.
I love you but this is the first Saturday I have ever spent at the police station. And where are my boxers?
She was drunk, dancing on the table. Until the table leg completely broke off and she fell on the ground and broke her front tooth straight off. Worse news is there making her pay for the table
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