C thinks vomiting on the batroom floor = reaon not to party. Lies. Party continues.
she cant drink. allergic to alcohol.
ewwww. she might as well have a dick.
My clean wipe streak was ended today by two enchiladas and a can of refried beans. dammit i should have been more cautious. thanks for all ur encouragement and support.
The sex was so not worth the four dollars it cost to drive over the bridge
If someone cant be won over with guacomole and tequila they are not worth your time.
He had the Transformers symbol tattooed to his chest. We had to do it doggy style so I could laugh into my pillow instead of his face.
It's because you were crossfaded. And because drinks were 3 dollars. And because they accepted credit cards.
i walked in on you eating. you had the fridge wide open and you were rotating between steak and handfuls of captain crunch.
my head gets it he sucks but my LAME FUCKING HEART IN MY VAGINA doesnt
Oh, honey. If you're seeing a girl just for the sex, never doubt that she knows and she's doing the same thing. We're not stupid, we're just craftier than you.
How is it possible that I'm still a virgin and you've managed to have sex in a cheetah print onesie TWICE
so like what it comes down to is do I wanna look like a boss ass bitch or do I wanna masturbate.
Like did he really think I just hit him up for dick !? It's 11:30 am , these ain't hoe hours
yeah i'm making him "thanks for letting me befriend your toilet" cookies. wanna help? i'm sure you'll be making new friends too.
I don’t care that he’s a decade younger. He’s cute and I need a good penising
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