we should go somewhere reaaaaaal shady
apparently i was offering everyone ambien and shouting, it's only like heath ledger if you want it to be!
you said grace in the diner. 5am, drunk, grace. you thanked the man w the mushroom cut for the wonderful supply of screwdrivers
As im putting my laundry in the machine, i find a solo cup and a pong ball that i signed babe ruth
So, I picked up my 7 ft tall lamp post and used it to close my door. I feel quite accomplished.
You SHOULD feel empty, we were at the top of our game, and by that i mean snorting things we don't understand and only a few steps away from adultery.
You should know I just got pulled aside by TSA because they found a bottle of Bud Light in my backpack... Thanks for that...
For the first time in my life, I paid for my own alcoholic beverage last night. Am I getting ugly?
To be honest, kinda.
By the third Id pass back i figured the bouncer had fucked one of us.
He got completely naked and is now just standee there next to my bed poking at my hamster. Why can't I get sex the normal way.
I haven't been this unsober in a long time. I feel like I am observing myself. Like I am a test subject for alcohol. I wish my brain would shut up and let me be a normal drunk.
she was puking nonstop out of the car window in the rain during our hour long drive back, we got lot of honks
Cause I know you wanna ride the D like a Vespa in ROMAN HOLIDAY
like don't tell me my baby smooth vag offended you
Making friends with the guy who had alcohol-infused whipped cream was the best decision I made all night.
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