But I'm halfway naked in a seductive pose! I just want to get this right...
I don't even know why I got my vag waxed
Ugh, tell me about it. As each day passes and the hair grows more, I get a little more depressed.
two words...techno handjob
i just did the math...im a product of my mothers birthday sex
This is the way my sobriety ends: Not with a bang, but with a whimper.
Just saw all the pictures from the party. I'm wearing a different shirt in every single one.
I cant believe im wasting my plan b experience on this guy. I should have saved it for someone special.
We'll find out our level of friendship after tonight. You'll be helping me move a body. My body.
How many band members does it take to become The Band Slut? I think I might be dangerously close
Question: what's the protocol for seeing your mistress walking alongside her clueless boyfriend? If you could answer this ten minutes ago, that'd be great.
I just tried to brush my hair with a can opener. Who gave you that brownie
Like who turns down taking a nap inside of someone in 2014.
So I crawled off the trampoline to puke in the neighbors yard. Wonderful house guest right here
Woke up with a $100 bill from the Philippines in my bra & an unopened box of sour patch kids next to me. I have some questions.
Well, you started screaming "I dont know you GO AWAY" to your mom when she was holding your hair as you threw up in her garden.
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