Don't make out with my wife yet
i want to be waterboarded, just to see what all the fuss is about
So my professor just changed my Final to 7:45am on May 6th. Shouldn't a Spanish professor understand the implications of Cinco de Mayo???
i thought i'd fucked her to death. no lie. she just stopped moving.
We did naked snow angels in 14 degree weather, you can't tell me you had more liquor at that party
I'm not embarrassed about the lap dance. I'm embarrassed for the singing during.
the boat had a sign not to jump off the roof of it, which gave us the idea to jump off the roof of it
Text me when you wake up so I know you're ok. It's really worrisome to get home at this hour and find 3 men passed out in my room but no you. Love you, goodnight. :-)
not saying it was a bad idea to throw an impromptu party but someone stole the microwave
Rick Santorum just suspended his campaign. Lets celebrate by watching gay pornography together.
We have bigger issues at hand... Does anybody know someone in the kalamazoo area that is missing a pair of stilts ?
Nothing shouts "I'm single" like a thousand needlepoint pillows.
I just want to smoke this blunt and eat pizza rolls while watching The Price Is Right with you.
You ask to touch his thighs ten times and called them magnificent.....need I say more
Please tell me why we have been neighbors since elementary school and waited until the night before I moved to fuck.
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