are we going to glenview for practice??
(3 hrs later) aids
where r u? what is story? im way too high right now
i slept with her, drove her to her sisters house to babysit, and then drove around the block where i met her sister and had sex with her in my van. I'm family Friendly!
my quiz for the book was only 2 questions and my one answer was sorry and then a sad face
I passed out in the VIP room and she charged me for 17 songs until I woke up, theres a bouncer asking me for $700, fuck tequila
This is so fucking sad. Netherlands isn't even a real country.
her moans were so awkward that i kept asking "what" when she'd say my name...
i was staring at her drunk thinking "shes at least a four"
I'm drinking and working out! I'm bench pressing the beer pong table and doing push ups and lifting the chair.
I just made a flawless coverstory for why I dont have my car and why I left the party on foot. #adultererskills
I don't know anybody that can get the cops to drive them back to the bar after being pulled out of a tree
it happenes
I don't think meeting his drug dealers counts as a relationship landmark.
You wanna know what I want to eat? Questionable Mexican food before I go drink. Makes for excitement. Will I puke it up or shit my pants
When we found you, you were half crying/half singing Taylor swift songs at 2am in the bathroom, and occasionally puking. I think I get "friend of the year" award just for putting up with your drunk ass all night.
No I got a fucking mosquito bite on my vagina. Summer is off to a bumpy start.
She woke up, peed in the sink and then passed out again, it's only 2 in the afternoon
Randomize
