do you remember what downloading porn with a 14k modem was like?
chris hansen is no longer pursuing child predators.let's celebrate
i'll bring the hard lemonade and lube
You need to stop texting me at SEVEN in the morning. It wakes my one night stands up and makes for the awkward talk way too early.
is it bad that the only reason i knew what antidote meant in class today, was from years of playing pokemon?
you know, even black out drunk I can always remember the exact point where I should have stopped drinking.
Why do you think it's a no-pants party?
Invite says "dress to impress". Her fault for leaving it open to interpretation.
The moment you ate chicken nuggets out of your purse you were my hero.
Where the hell did i get chicken nuggets from
I guess, just don't make it awkward
MY FUCK BUDDY'S MOTHER FRIEND REQUESTED ME! IT'S ALREADY AWKWARD COREY
You know how hard it is to play cool while not drowning and appreciating a pair of butts at the same time?
Look on the bright side, one day you will get to tell your grandkids how grandpappy got roofied on his 21st and woke up in a for sale house missing his shoes
BUT YOU MUST FINISH YOUR QUEST
TO FIND THE HOLY GRAIL
AND GET DRUNK OFF YOUR ASS BY DRINKING OUT OF IT
If the ex isent in town and im crying under a table somewhere because of it can we go to a drag show or something
My god imagine how much cum is in that astroturf
He's watching Always Sunny and eating refried beans straight from the can.
I forget, are we banging TA’s for grades this semester or not?
Depends on how cute he is
Randomize
