my drunk uncle just explained that turkeys are not gentle lovers... and no context doesn't make it better.
This kid is drunk.
I hope by "this kid" you mean yourself and not some child you have kidnapped and gotten wasted.
he has been on a 2 week bender, has been homeless for a week and a half, and leaves for madagascar in 2 days. Do we worry or is that normal?
turkey basters and jungle juice, is that really the whole shopping list for new year's?
If graduating leads me to stop getting naked at inappropriate times in public places I'm going to be pissed
Do you ever wonder what the men who we shamelessly objectify would think if they saw our texts in regard to them?
I mean there are things broken right and left, I woke up surrounded by dog statues, and we had a vodka bubble bath.
I basically have sex lined up for me in three different countries. If that's not a feat I don't know what is
I think he just tried to put your boyfriend in a trashcan....
I had to get my boss birth control a work today. I knew going to ASU would come in handy in my career someday.
I had a glass of wine for breakfast. It's gonna be a rough week.
Then his buddy called and said "my car broke down, I need a ride. If I'm not home by midnight they'll extend my house arrest." And I knew it was time to leave.
I hope I didn’t eat too many edibles just now. I got shit to do today. Like make Jell-O shots and take a shower.
Im bringing my light up rubber ducky just in case we end up at a rave tonight. HE CHANGES COLOR!
27 year olds can still do oral in a car right? Or is that trashy?
Randomize