Sex don't cost a thang now that you can buy trojans with meal points.
What do you want? Don't say anything that would make me look like a pussy at the store.
You can tell alot about a person by their poo.. For example, he was a smoker.
Threw up 3 times on the lawn mower and then proceeded to crash it into a tree root and break it.
Ok, honestly? Periods can't be THAT bad, have you ever tried to shave a ball sack?!
Showering in my swimsuit in hopes of getting the beer smell out.
I remember desperately screaming that I love my life and running in zig zags all the way home
I'm in charge of his party but you're a paramedic, we're both needed.
Filthy. I need to be power hosed with holy water.
Note to self: don't practice nerdy white girl dance choreography in the company bathrooms no matter how nice the huge mirrors and lighting are.
He said we were over, wrote my name on the condom he left in my car last night and said he'd always keep it in case I came back. It was kind of romantic
If you ever "miss" working, I'm going to fist you with my hulk hands. BOTH of them.
This couple is walking their pig around campus
Yeah well I fucked my ex on a sink last night soooo booty calls for us all
Standing straight up with intensity he came in his own mouth. I know this because he showed me the video from five different angles when asked if I would like him to demonstrate. And I did.
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