If you're really into hairy Serbian chicks, Cleveland has a lot to offer(216): We're going to cougar night, the serbian chicks are the best aged.
They have glow in the dark condoms. That's so scary.
Something like a penis light saber.
so i woke up to her 8 year old asking for a bowl of cereal...
Let's just have a brief moment of silence for my dignity before we start tonight
Although last time you were unsure about someone they flipped a golf cart on me.
Nah the bridesmaids all had dates. I slept with the next best thing: girl who WANTED to be a bridesmaid but didnt make the cut.
It's like a puppy that we have to take care of at all times or else she'll get sad, lonely, and chew on the furniture. And by 'chew on the furniture', I mean have anonymous sex.
You just jumped of the couch and yelled "hidden tiger crouching dragon!" That's the answer to how you broke your finger.
I've never seen a guy eye-fuck someone so hard in my entire life. I thought he would develop laser vision, bore holes into your body, and not even realize your innards would be spilling everywhere. That's how bad it was.
that man is just a bundle of powerful magic and poor judgment
He didn't even realize I was drunk. He probably just thought I loved Torchwood so much that I no longer knew how to use my thumbs
I told my grandmother all I want is a nice guy who likes to be tied up.
there is a smiley face on my leg painted in blood
I'm pretty sure that's yours.
He put your tit in his mouth. Professionalism is out the window after that.
okay valid
Who else has a jello penis in their fridge?!
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