He asked for his proof of insurance and he pulled out a Magnum by mistake. All of the sudden gignger was looking real good to me.
nothing can go wrong this weekend. $1500 to spend. i have options for hookups every night. my backup plans have backup plans
I returned the dress. When they asked for the reason for return I said, 'I don't deserve to wear white'.
I just found pie in my hoodie pocket... This break needs to end.
It was good I woke up with my mattress on top of me. I walked around naked the whole night as people wished my Happy Birthday.
Great I'll forever be branded as gym slut at the new gym.
Idk yet. Trying to convince him to get a phoenix bird tattoo first
Just ate tuna on a frozen waffle because we were out of bread.
This is why you don't have nice things.
I hope your pay increase has gone through because I might need bail. This is not what I dreamed adulthood would be like.
I Pavlov-trained him by smacking him in the nuts anytime I caught him looking at another girl in public. To this day, he's afraid to break eye contact with me in a restaurant if a tall busty blonde walks in.
I will teach you the ways of the ho life, my little gay grasshopper.
I mean I faked it but he could answer my texts
Is it wrong to want to have sex with one guy who's good in bed before going out on a date with a guy I actually like?
We've been taking shots, cranking Marilyn Manson, and eating your bacon. Your kid is probably ruined.
I may have made out with your roommate and your cousin tonight. In my defense I thought both of them were your cousin.
Randomize
