Sam Adams makes it so easy to keep track of the seasons.
can you explain why there is a dead rabbit in my front seat?
idk, I had a turtle in mine.
So... he formspringed me a link to every nude pic ive taken since he 8th grade. ive evolved nicely. but im nervous as to how this a website.
You were sad because he was "taking it out on the plant"
Okay. Did anyone see me spend $1600 at the strip club last night? Or is this someone else's receipt in my pocket?
I don't know but someone, somewhere gave someone a hand job and someone else was pissed about it...
after the shots you kept on yelling "this is for the dreamers"
If you're funny as hell and have a mustache, odds are I'm probably gonna fuck you
After getting kicked out of the bar, you proceeded to McDonald's, ordered 30 nuggets, slammed them all back in 5 minutes and then stole 3 traffic cones...how you only got charged with drunk in public is beyond me.
You cant use biscuit as a chaser
What have I told you about trying to use Jesus as your wingman?!
I smell like cowboy sweat. I got two lap dances. This is the best day of my life!
I just unmatched him. If your Thirsty Thursday only consists on the gym then I am not the woman for you ✌🏻️
No one wants to start their day off with bloody lemons and a tampon in the toilet. Wtf.
i have a lot of questions about the picture quality/lighting/motion/gravity of the balls...
Randomize
