Obv we're gonna bbm each other in bed
omg... punch me in the throat... I am about to lose my mind with my parents.. I'm not saying I agree with the menendez brothers.. but I understand
I just farted. And everybody around me is looking at the fat girl to my left. I win.
just a heads up, there may or may not be a mailbox full of the leftover beer on the table in your basement.
I knew shit got real when the pinapple was gone and people were just passing around the core and gnawing on it.
You basically tried to anal probe my passed out friend with a lamp
just printed out my drug dealers resume for him. guess the ecstasy scene slows down when kids move back home for the summer...
There's a knife in my toilet. And I meant to ask you last night if you got a hair cut?
Delete her number from his phone. He keeps slurring how he's going to get her "all sorts of pregnant".
my heart is telling me chinese, but my head is telling me beer.
This ER has an aquarium in it!!!
We invented this drinking game where you pick and random video and drink for every misspelled word in the youtube comments. It did not end well.
He deserves a nobel prize for his dick-giving abilities. 10/10, would ride again.
Omg in one week, two guys with their own names tattooed on their bodies had their tongues in my mouth. Self loathing shall commence now.
and eventually we just all took our pants off
Randomize