I did a mental Irish jig when he pulled out the second condom.
your boyfriend is drunk and yelling to the bar that he loves his cats
I'm thinking I had intended to send you pics cuz I woke up naked
Ok fine. Wild. Free. Like a stallion set free in a beautiful meadow filled with flowers and sexy lady horses
You don't have a penis so I'm not texting you at this hour. This is penis texting hour only.
My cat was watching porn with me. Weirdest bonding experience ever.
I woke up this morning with a sharpie tramp stamp. Pretty sure it's a picture of a squirrel.
three guys with a tattoo of the Walmart rollback smiley holding up a middle finger on their ass=free drinks in every bar
It was at the same house, but a different party, when lesbians set me on fire. So there's that.
I need dunkaroos back in my life.
I woke up in the basement of a pizza restaurant... I would say the tequila hit me pretty hard.
I just formed the "shit on a tree in Chicago club." And I feel awful about it.
If that guy asks u bout me, I said my name is Jenelle, from CT, I'm a cat behiavor consultant and I'm 29. Back my story up
Learn from my mistakes. DO NOT try to steam a garment of clothing while you are wearing it. The burn is not worth the de-wrinkle.
Congratulations you now have a pet Scotsman.
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