There is a stranger person in my roommates bed...
Waitress cut us off at Chili's bar. New low
so I woke up without pants, but my cardigan was still on and fully buttoned. curious.
Fuck winter. I had to scrape my windshield, shoeless, after the walk of shame so I could go home.
great! i almost saw a gas station fight, and i believe i became the first person to successfully pee and puke in a bathtub simultaneously
I gave an inspirational speech to a bum and called a bride ugly at her wedding reception.
Haha yeah my head's fine..sorry about the dent in your fridge.
This morning on my way to work I saw a guy ride his bike straight into a woman and her dog while trying to light a bowl. Thought of you.
I was looking at our sex bingo and pretty much every single row or column has at least one kind of person that is harder to find than all the rest
We've made things harder for ourselves
The struggle will be part of the fun
Is it appropriate to send an apology gift to his roommates for breaking the bathroom sink during crazy sex?
I just took a plan B pill with my preworkout. That's the level I'm on today.
Ugh im hungover from last night, and to top it all off, I think someone jacked my laptop.
umm ya, so we found it in the oven wrapped in a pillow case this morning
I like the new guy, he keeps beer in the fridge.
Are these your boobs on my camera?
I think drunk me saved him in my phone as "beautiful man" to play a joke on sober me
Randomize
