My nephew just came out playing with my moms vibrator.
You'd think with all the porn he watches he'd be a little better at this...
Hes far too high and trying to explain daylight savings time to me. Help?
yes, the chronicles of narnia is exactly what happens when you do crack inside of a wardrobe.
While drunk it seemed like a good idea to barricade my roommate in his room with everything that we could move in our apartment, waking up to him screaming from it collapsing on top of him was just an added bonus.
I can officially say I had a blunt rolled on my ass
plus there's no nice way to tell a guy you physically hate the shape of their cock.
Well, during the ride home I had to personally apologize to both of her breasts.
nobody was home so I boiled the dildo
All I've done is masturbate and drink while being home from college.
I worked all year for this tax return. I deserve to get my nipples pierced.
Our office went out together for the first time to celebrate the fact our coworker got fired.
Woke up next to a half eaten Philly Cheesesteak. Honestly probably one of the top 3 things I've ever woken up next to.
Every time I try to do something productive I end up searching ghost porn.
My god imagine how much cum is in that astroturf
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