Coming down off exstacy at a church event. Resisting the urge to dance to the church hymns.
so my mom told me to suck on something if I have to cough. so I guess blow jobs are ok
Vanessa Carlton's songs would be so much better if she was pretty
her dad is making me watch Glen Beck, i only agreed because i penetrated his daughter earlier.
Please do NOT set off the smoke alarm when I am tied to the bed like this...
Apparently the last thing they remember of me was me stumbing into a bathroom, then falling out 5 minutes later clutching a butter knife repeating "ketamine goes in my face hole"
Yeaaah. I'm kinda wary about that guy. Does he still have that taser that he found on the train?
I just bid on a $9000 car because I think its my ex-girlfriends. Yes I wanna hit that again.
Its official the day you get back into town we are having a going away to jail party for me. My last wish before prison is to shit faced drunk with you, get into a fist fight, and then cuddle up and fall asleep. Just like old times <3
it was like a shit fog rolling out of the east to encompass me and have it's way with me
this hospital has no fireball
To this day, I regret not having sex in the bathroom
Yeeah, I think a threesome is one of those wedding presents you can't register for at Bed Bath And Beyond..
The sun is out, the birds are chirping, I made some brownies, I'm not pregnant
This is literally what my 13-year old cousin said to me this morning.
Do you remember trying to eat the shower curtain last night...?
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