quadriplegic porn is always funny
no. no its not
Chris' response to jim throwing up was taking off his shirt and saying WHO WANTS A BONER
we were having sex and she freaked out when i said nipple
We'll probably be arrested for having a cheetah in our apartment anyway, so I say go for it.
we got hammered off table wine and i ended up biting my acrylic nail off so i could finger his butt.. ill never look at valentines day the same
After your mom took her 12th and fatal tequila shot she proceeded to fall head first into the bonfire... Guess I don't have to fear getting old after all
Apparently i asked the cab driver how much the ride was going to cost, (he said about $25) then i offered him 50 to let me drive the cab...
EVERYTHING IS DISNEY. Even my sexting can lead to Disney.
I snapchatted his face mid sex. Needless to say, I don't think I'll ever see him again.
Why is there a chocalet milkshake outside our front door?
Alcohol
This tequila is so bad I might cry. I won't Throw up but I might cry
You know what else? He didn't even get to see my butt. And my butt is really cute. Car sex is awful.
Just remember, the Browns have more wins than Ronda Rousey this year.
That was a beautiful concert to sleep through ...
I know - Don't let me take drugs from strangers anymore
A girl I had a drunken hook up with is on interventon right now
Randomize
