does wine, beer, and vodka mix well??
dude, everything can mix, this is college.
When you're about to leave, tell him "bye." At that point, he should say something. If he doesn't say anything, well, our drinks were free and he gets a free make out with yours truly.
Pretty sure the purpose of joining wine clubs isn't to drink the 2 bottles they send you each month IN THE SAME NIGHT.
Based on the time of Sean's "I'm on your street" phone call last night, we had sex for an hour and a half. Man, time flies when you're getting boned to an orgasmic death.
I was scared that I should know him but I was too busy blacking out to remember
She stopped laughing and kind of stared at the wall for a while. Then she did 3 somersaults and said she saw jesus. This weed is fucking fantastic.
Quick question. How did my clothes end up in your room on your bed and I end up outside your room naked on your couch?
I just saw two homeless guys bond over the fact that they both use Crown Royal bags as wallets in Burger King.
Nothing like snapchatring dick pics to a\nMarried woman while your girlfriend destroys Taco Bell in the next room. Almost caught, worth it. Got boobs back
He danced with some other girls and you started yelling "I can't believe I wasted half my Chili's gift card on you" at him
Just in case you forgot, last night you came home drunk and pissed all over my laptop. You owe me a laptop.
I knew it was Christmas when someone handed me a stocking filled with airplane bottles. Ps just woke up 3 days later
I got my gum stuck on his balls.
Do you think it would be okay if i cleaned my cartilage piercing with the leftover vodka?
I may or may not be drunker than time right now.
Randomize
