Can you believe The 5th Element didn't get best fight scene in 1997?! I'm still bitter. 12 years later.
Haha how do you remember that?
HOW COULD I FORGET?!
I'm not saying we can't have sex tonight, I'm just saying we have to work it around Lost.
Watching tv. She's giving me head and she hates it when I watch her.
I'm in his phone as "nashville blowjob" he also has "cleveland blowjob" "vegas blowjob" etc. i'm okay with this.
We're on a cock hunt. Everything is fair game.
why the fuck are my pubes caked with bread crumbs?
I swear she hasnt shaved since the last time we hooked up 5 months ago
Did i mention i'm like the equivilent of a prepubescent boy suffering from preejaculacy? I just about creamed my pants when he grabbed my hand..
Well, thats the first guy to go to jail because of my vagina
Post that event on your timeline
She took the fish and put it in the hot tub, then turned on the jets. She said she was training it for the Olympics.
I've decided to give up hard drugs for the rest of the year.
Yeeah, I think a threesome is one of those wedding presents you can't register for at Bed Bath And Beyond..
I would also like you to tell your human bio class that I successfully smoked out the flu. 103 degree when I woke up yesterday. 100degree after one bowl. 4 more bowls and 16 hours later all that's left is a cough
He tried to kiss me in the middle of hooking up... it was a deal breaker. I got off him and left.
So making out with chicks at the bar is fine and dandy, but your booty call can't kiss you? You have the strangest fucking rules...
I woke up naked in a tent. I was more upset that the air mattress had deflated.
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