i know ur right I'm sorry I'm stupid and incompitent look I can't even spell incompetent right! Fuck!
im too high. i could barely wash my hair, let alone handle a whole shower
The girl next to me in class is taking notes on woman's suffrage with a girls gone wild pen.
If you bang a chick other than your girlfriend while playing tiger woods on xbox I wonder if an accomplishment would come up...
still doesn't change the fact you were dunking your sock in the toilet.
Please come back. She just stuck her bloody band-aid to Zach's face, has a fire extinguisher, and is talking about tornados hiding.
His voice is like having sex with hot chocolate and then suddenly you're pregnant.
Goldenshlager is a hell of a drink. And these are the adventures ur missing out on w me. I gave someone a bath Emily. A BATH.
Awkward
Can't say I wouldn't let it happen again.
Netflix keeps asking me if I'm still watching just because I've been sitting here all afternoon...why do I feel like my tv is judging my life choices?
Got home and told boyfriend what happened. He was like "you made out with a guy you call Balls Deep?" and hi-fived me.
For both our sake, we've decided to ban watching combat sports before sex
I'm literally rolling on acid for the first time during Thanksgiving. Help me.
did you make it home?
i'm in a room and it looks like mine :)
hahah close nuff if it isnt
last night I learned that if you try to buy tacos in this town, that you will be stopped by three cop cars with breathalizers
Put the lady boner away. He's engaged. To my brother. No, life is not fair.
Randomize