I was rubbing the clit just like wikipedia told me to.
if i found out she had a dick after i got head, does that still make me gay?
I wish that vaginas would just grow when you're ready for sex. Like when you dont need your vagina its not there, but when you need it...BAM its there. then no one would see it when you get drunk
yeah...or you could just stop doing cartwheels in skirts
If I had known I was gonna take my tights off and throw them over the balcony I would have shaved my legs.
I heard that if you win you get to have sex with me. You guys really need to stop wagering my vagina.
I dont think he stole the pillow. I mean if he wanted a souvenir, my thong was on the nightstand.
I mean I'm not worried about us not getting wasted. I'm more worried that I'll be doing a Boris yeltzen impression by 1030.
You were throwing ham at people telling them you were the sandwhich fairy
Lets be real here, you loved it when I was on top. With and without the machete.
I am gifting my birthday sex to you, but its okay because I can always just have birthday vibrator.
Just took a shot of 151, rimmned my middle finger in it, lit it on fire and lit a cigarette off it while flicking off my boss. How was your night??
did the thing where I quickly swipe right to every girl on Tinder & matched with my sis. God I hope swiping carelessly is hereditary
I come home to my brother mixing skittles and vodka. We're all proud of him.
Apparently I repeatedly thanked the paramedic for saving the "happy new year" beads i was wearing. that bad.
they told me that it was glow in the dark and would make me magical. I was too drunk to say no. I woke up to a purple vagina.
its like a neon Im stupid as fuck sign
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