I have to get up uber early tomorrow. Which is why I started drinking early today
i'm pissing behind 7/11. if you guys leave... i'll think it's funny too
She's the hottest girl I've ever seen before and didn't lose her virginity until she was 19. As men, I take it as failure on our part that hot 19 year old virgins still exist.
The vodka told me to go iceskating on my frozen pool. I may have attempted.
someone just drove by blasting livin on a prayer and threw like 6 bagels out the window... was it you?!
Either I just got hit on by a 10 year old.girl dressed like a boy or I just got hit on by a midget lesbian. Either way I feel uncomfortable
Dude, you like sabotaged my shower time by walking in and eating a snack pack on the toilet. That's messed up on levels that haven't even been created.
is one penis in the hand worth one better nicer penis in the manscaped bush?
There is no sno cone on earth better than alone naked time. Side note: text when you all are headed home.
Have you ever just like not slept in so long that everything looks like a lava lamp?
You said you couldn't use your body anymore so you made me push the buttons on your phone while you made alien sound effects
Apparently we don't communicate very well unless we're drunk and/or naked
last thing I remember was someone walking in on me sitting in the bathtub listening and singing along to Britney spears "Till the world ends" on repeat.
At one point in the night, as we were running from the cops, I clearly remember you yelling "little gnomes are tickling the insides of my body!" ...that high.
I'm so sorry to hear about your grandmother. Also how many grams are in an eighth?
Randomize
