There is a man on the balcony beside me who claims he is a triceratops. He roared and asked me for a cigarette, telling me he'd eat me if I refused. I love college.
Do you think I should make him wait for my responses or do you think sophomore have no concept of time like dogs?
at this point every shot is just a haymaker to my liver
I dont have any paper so I'm writing class notes on my first response direction pregnancy paper. Judging eyes are all around.
Is it some european holiday today? We both woke up to find loaves of bread in our rooms...
I left my bra and a book at his place. He's a hot Scandinavian who is into physics and computers - had to step up my game.
Come get your boy. He's cuddling with a bag of rice on the floor.
Almost just stuck my dick in my bong for no reason
He wins the giant teddy bear for getting the neuva ring on the dick
you said you wanted to call me grandma and give me hugs
Is it just me or is Michael Jackson blasting throughout the house
Now that you have a boyfriend, can I have my vibrator back?
Hey, before I head out, whats your policy on casual drug use and one night stands?
First she snuck beer into the movies and then proceded to give me a handjob in the dark theatre. I think I'm in love
You seem like the type to go to a craft sale baked out of your mind. I like you.
Randomize
