Not me. I think "beastiality" sounds pretty classy.
I seriously fake cumming more than i poop.
You put a nerf gun to his head and demanded him to take you to taco bell..
i went through the entire semester and only just now realized there's a girl in my history class that i've hooked up with.
my stepmom is let-the-dog-eat-out-of-her-mouth drunk. oh my god.
Idk. I woke up marinating in beer on my beanbag. Idk what you mightve done.
he was grinding on you and dedicated the song "I'm in Love With a Stripper" to you then started taking his own clothes off
Girl behind me in line at cvs was getting impatient then outta nowhere blew up shouting that if she didn't get her plan b soon she might be a mom abd that if we couldn't tell she'd be a terrible mom
We are so blessed to to have nicely shaped vaginas
I thank god almighty everyday
I'm sure we could go all project runway on our diapers and create some flattering absorbent thongs. We could do it on the Boat. Call it project rumway.
Last night must have been awesome because I went to get in the shower only to find the bat symbol drawn on my chest
That happened during battle shots lol
I though he and I knew each other well enough that we could go to my hotel room to do a bunch of cocaine together without their being any homoerotic implications, but NOOOOOOOOO!
this whole "benign brain tumor" is truly a blessing in disguise. I almost want to start bringing MRIs to the bar because sympathy pussy is flowing like the nile
It all started with a game of naked twister.
I woke up in my neighbors backyard with glitter on my teeth and sparklers super glued on my bra. which part was your fault?
Randomize
