Pish posh, there's never a bad time to eat food off my body.
but i have a bet that her boyfriend is going to try and deflower her tonight so i better get a move on if i want to videotape it
I didn't want to talk to him so I just started telling him how important Jesus was to me
I had to download the flashlight app so I could finish taking a dump when the power went out.
He knows my period schedule but not my work schedule.
Come find me, I'm the girl sitting alone in taco bell at 9 in the morning drinking concealed beer with a straw
He stood up, threw the bag of bud between me and Tory, yelled "Fight" and then ran upstairs for the pizza
Its been 4 years since I have masturbated this hard. God bless the Olympics!
FOUND: my underwear in the cabinet above the toilet. What the actual fuck.
I have bad memories with every alcohol but we manage to work through the problems for the good of the relationship
I've discovered my ability to crush a man's ego is greater than my hate for beer.
I've been watching porn with my cat lately. No shame
It's a good thing vaginas don't have taste buds
It's like sleep walking but with blowjobs
My nipples are raw, I've yet to go to bed, I feel like death, and I'm at work. Thank you jack, crown, and Lafayette!
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