I like to think it a success when the cops are called
HELP! I am trapped in a douchebag ad... full of Affliction and Ed Hardy. Seriously? is he gonna leave his sunglasses on the entire 10 seconds of this encounter?
sorry for making everyone realize you look like bruce jenner
Omg I'm so stupid. All the peoples fb status that said "spain" I thought they were all going to spain.......
We're smoking a joint the size of the average penis right now. I may not survive.
I think I'm still fucked. I can see the electricty going through the street car lines
I baptized my dog in my pool last night because he snapped at my party guests, how was your night?
He needs to respect me before he can fuck me with cat ears on.
It was like die hard. Except with more penises.
We're all getting matching jack daniels tattoos. We're gonna be an alcoholic gang of awesome.
Taking shots of gin by myself out of TMNT glasses and chasing with bites of chocolate cake. AMERICA.
Some daaay... Bet your bottom dollar that some daaay you'll do that mollyyyy
I'm too stoned to come over for sex
Yes that is a Krispy Kreme doughnut on my cock
I'll be right over
I thought the first time I got peed on it would be by a baby...
I did a line off of, and then danced on top of a table older than this country.
Harvard is great.
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