yo im tryna cop a beej tonight
just thinking about him makes my vagina shudder.
I'm ashamed of you 12 hours later and 200 miles away
Why did I think it was so necessary to steal that rolling pin?
hi sober isdnt real. this is a mass rtoomate taext i thing. bye
AMAZING.
This time, try to not get fingered in the middle of the living room.
I DIDNT GET FINGERED
I was rubbed
We got to the party at eleven, and the host was already in the hospital from being stabbed. And she brought the stabber home with us when we left.
You woke up, laughed, proceeded to throw up on me and then passed out again.
So apparently blacked out me judges a man based on what type of dinosaur he would be...
He looks like he was the one that always had koolaid stains around his mouth as a kid, he can fuck off.
I'm right down the road from AJ's old house and I'm getting mixed feelings. My vagina is remembering good dick. But the rest of me is remembering horrible times.
I tipped him really well because I feel he knew we were high, but did it in a non judgemental way.
Are you in a good mood because I stuffed you with enchiladas, ice cream, penis, and cuddles last night?
... Okay, fine. But I don't want to be a better person tonight. I'll be a better person tomorrow.
I'm only coming over if you have cocaine or a snickers bar
Randomize
