eating mexican with the mother in law. this meal made her decide to tell us about her colon cleansing diet
even my worst enemy doesn't deserve a bush like that
I came home to burning cookies and him outside "tanning" naked.
He just wants an even tan
ok perfect im about to bedazzle our mini keg named hans. he is ready to rage
If i theoretically had to put an iv back in what do I need to do?
Life is too short to have fake orgasms.
S.O.S. he's talking about horses and breast feeding.
I'll make some time for you! I don't know how long you need to get off, but I should only need 2-7 minutes, pending what kind of socks I have on.
Nothing says happy valentines day like waking up to a naked man you hooked up with taking a walk of shame
I offered him midol and told him "it always helps my period so maybe it'll help yours"
I'm not sure why he thinks weird that I masturbate AND look at pinterest at the same time.
He left me alone in a hotel room my last night in town to go home to jerk off and watch TV. So yeah, I guess we're not really friends.
Ur dad just showed me a tit pic he got omf
He bought me pizza and bourbon and played scrabble with me. So naturally I slept with him.
I'm like a bad decision making factory. I need to sit down and have a chat with my decision making elves.
Randomize
